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Corruptoris Lardum




The Gaishnik
Distinguishing features: Fleshy face with red splotches in the complexion from a combination of a starch-heavy diet and excessive drinking. Body seems to be in Baron Harkonnen-like inflated suit as Corruptoris Lardum strides slowly in the middle of traffic. Special wrist-flick used to flag down potential cash cows.

Danger if Provoked: Extremely high. Anyone in a clean foreign car without government plates or a migalka is bound to provoke Corruptoris Lardum into a feeding frenzy. There is also a great danger if Corruptoris Lardum is not provoked, and to drivers who make the mistake of looking at him when passing by.

Mortal Weaknesses: Merc jeeps that confidently speed around downtown Moscow at 200km/hr. Pensioners in old Moskvitches.

Comments: Corruptoris Lardum spends most of his waking hours feeding on the bountiful nutrients offered up by Moscow’s increasingly upscale automobilists. It is estimated that he needs to eat at least 20 500 ruble notes per day just to stay fat.


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